time log 2: 11 hours

The hours I put in this week were geared primarily toward research and exploration. In sync with my direction, I began my search by looking through one of my favorite books, Women in the Material World, a book which I have cherished for many years now and will find extremely useful throughout this project. After making a list of countries to explore, I decided to begin with Bhutan, a tiny Himalayan country wedged in between India and China, and read the chapter dedicated to this country. I spent a couple hours browsing several online databases and found a number of articles from various academic journals, which I later read, highlighting information that could possibly be incorporated into a central concept. I made notes in my sketchbook and picked out various themes, associations, and objects that held potential for playing a role in the final drawings depicting Bhutan. I also spent time looking for images that I could use within the piece. The total number of hours spent researching and journaling about Bhutan was 7 hours. I also spent 2 hours making bad art, 1 hour thinking and journaling about bad art in my sketchbook and my blog, and another hour in class.
Total: 11 hours

THERE IS OVERWHELMING DRAMA AND VALUE IN EACH AND EVERY HUMAN LIFE, NO MATTER HOW PROFOUNDLY THESE LIVES ARE IGNORED. THESE ARE LIVES UPON WHICH THE WELL-BEING OF THE WORLD DEPENDS.

[Women in the Materal World]

100 note cards

So I have been pondering the definition of bad art for a while today. I was sitting in David's car this afternoon while he was making a quick stop at the laundry facility near his apartment, and it hit me that bad art is in some way correlated to the definition of good art. [Besides it being just as vague and ambiguous.] I think that the quality of art can be determined by looking past the surface and going deeper. In other words, I think that good and bad art can be deciphered by understanding the intention and mind set of the artist. To me, good art expresses something and is created intentionally to express something. I am sure that happy accidents happen every now and then when the artist absent mindedly creates something that happens to impact the viewer... but as part of the bigger picture, I feel that artists who create a piece of work for a reason and who actively embrace the process are successful. Maybe the outcome is not as strong or pleasing as it could have been, but the intention is there, and the artist has a reason for making art. If we judged art in terms of technicality and precision, then we would all fall short and would be creators of nothing other than bad art. Therefore, it is much more than perfection. It is human intention evident in artistic passion and a concrete outcome.

Bad art, on the other hand, must be the opposite of what I feel good art represents. It must be created without intention and must be absent mindedly put together. I think that bad art does nothing for the artist and is most likely to do nothing for the viewer as well. Meaningless, inconsistent, without passion and inspiration behind it.

So, based on this idea, I have been creating little pictures, pictures that speak nothing to me and are derived from a rather boring subconscious.

Time Log 1: 13 hours

This week:
I spent a total of 9 hours reading Art & Fear and writing down relevant and inspiring passages/thoughts in my sketchbook.
I spent over an hour setting up my blog, writing entries, and taking pictures for it.
I spent over 2 hours thinking through and writing my statement of direction.
I also spent at least an hour with David discussing Art & Fear and my idea for this class.
Total: 13 hours

click here

Today has been a good day. I made $50 and had fun making it. I finished writing my statement of direction and took pictures of my artwork from last semester. That is something that I rarely do, but I definitely plan on posting my work from now on, especially the art that I make this semester.

Here are three of 15 paintings that I completed as part of the fear project from Painting 2.

my little motivational speech

There is a truth about me and blogs. However much I love them, I find it rather difficult to confront a blog that I have just created and post the very first entry. Rather than allow my fingers to express myself, I spend an entire week critiquing the design and typography of the webpage and searching through the html code for something to correct. I stare into space and envision wonderful sentences that I have pieced together, and I even think about where to put the commas and italics… but I always fail to actually piece any sentences together. I refrain from writing because I am afraid that nothing breathtaking will proceed from within me. Jibber jabber is bound to exist… that is all I am capable of.

This belief is no stranger to me. It is something that I have been overcoming my entire life. Perfectionism. Feeling incapable of doing anything well. I have gotten better, believe me. I have come to realize that I can create with outstanding intention and finish with a result that gives me the feeling of self-satisfaction. I can, even when everything in me feels like a failure.

Creating art has allowed me to drive this feeling of failure a little farther away. I have been able to use uncertainty to my advantage and learn from my paintings and solutions to various problems. I am realizing that mistakes are good and that real growth develops when uncertainty is embraced. I want to be an artist who is willing to explore and endure moments of not knowing in order to discover what is worth pursuing and how it might possibly be pursued.

I am excited about participating in this self-directed drawing class. I have an idea, and even though it seems quite challenging to me because I am clueless as to how I will construct and connect the images, I am willing to run away with my desire to do this. I mean, I have always wanted to, ever since I was a little girl. Why not abandon my fears of incapability and see what happens?