time log 6: 13 hours

So it's 12:55 Sunday night (well, morning), and I'm loving my first drawing so far. I've spent a total of 13 hours on it this week (mainly yesterday and today) and am looking forward to working on it more this coming week. I don't know how much time I will have for it, though. I have to start and finish a four by seven foot painting before next Wednesday. Yikes. But at least I've made some progress on my drawing.

Total hours this week: 13

erase

I really like it when drawing redeems myself. The insecurities and feelings of failure that exist within me erase themselves as my pencil fills the paper. Pure moments that are mine alone find themselves nurtured and reinforced, and I realize that I can succeed with the help of my Creator.

I am really happy with my first piece so far. I spent four hours on it this morning. I crawled out of bed, made some coffee, and got right to work.

Successful so far.

time log 5: 11 hours

I finally started the first panel of the first piece! It isn't much, but it is a good start for me, considering how I have been dealing with several annoying little fears this week. It feels great to finally be drawing again, even if it is a big dark shadow in the middle of the paper. I am getting excited now.

1 hour on Thursday brainstorming and journaling.

4 hours on Saturday finding more pictures and information on the Internet.

6 hours on Sunday sketching out compositional possibilities, discussing my fears with David, finalizing the arrangement of the images, photocopying and projecting, and beginning to draw!

Total hours this week: 11

it is my decision

It is funny how various thoughts and fears get in the way of my one big desire. I really want to draw right now. I want to find an image and begin drawing. So much of me wants to sit down with my graphite pencils and create the eyes, the face, the fabrics, the character of Bhutan. I want to let my hands do the thing that they really enjoy doing and see what appears on the paper. The only problem is the nagging fear that hits me when I think about drawing. I am afraid that the others will think that my direction is too contained and not daring enough. But who defines daring anyway? Who decides what is "out of the box" and worth pursuing? I feel that although my direction may be a bit more on the traditional side of drawing, it is still worthy of being nurtured and brought out. Maybe my drawings won't be contemporary or obscene enough for some people, but this is what I want to do, something that I have always wanted to do, and I am going to do it.

no meaning

So here is the reason why I completed 8 rather than 10 hours of work last week. Oh what an ugly culprit that I like so much :) Assignment? Make a meaningless piece of art that combines low art images to create a high art (rather undecipherable) painting.

It was also my first all nighter of the semester.

time log 4: 8 hours

This has been another 8 hour week. I spent roughly four hours brainstorming for assignment #3 and the rest of the time was spent executing my idea. I played around with lots of different ideas and finally decided to use one that was simple, clever, and extremely literal. I had fun with this assignment. Definitely didn't get to work on my own pieces, but that's okay. There is always next week.

positive and negative

Assignment 3. I really like it so far. My brain has been clicking and my visual imagination has been soaring and rising . . . hopefully to a great height. My ideas are developing, slowly as yet, but they have not stopped on the first little fit of fancy, and this is encouraging. One thing that I have decided to do this semester is push my brainstorming activities to a place where nothing can be added and nothing can be taken away. Rather than grab hold of the first idea that pops into my head and go with it, I have been challenging myself by exploring other possiblities as well and thinking things through on a deeper level, either with concepts or compositions or color studies. Something else that I have decided to improve this semester is my ability to trust my inner intuition, especially in painting. I want my brush marks and my color combinations to reflect me in a completely honest, brutal way. Planning is beneficial, but freedom in expression is also pertinant to being and breathing as an artist.

time log 3: 8.5 hours

I didn't spend as much time as I wanted to on my own direction this week. I think I got a little discouraged with the ten methods of mark-making I had to do for our second assignment, and I lost myself in that endeavor. I tried to be creative with the assignment, however, and decided to stick with a simple smiley face or gestural figure in order to reveal a creative technique. My favorite is definitely the water hose shaped like a pregnant woman kneeling. That was fun.

In regards to my own ideas, I explored Bhutan and its people even further and narrowed down the possibilities to a few interesting aspects that I would like to express through my first piece. I experienced some difficulty in deciding how to portray tthese aspects and asked lots of questions in my sketchbook about my direction, such as, "Why am I even using a diptych?" and "How should both panels relate to each other?" Luckily, I had a very helpful discussion with David that left me with a greater sense of what I wanted to achieve. A bigger question is at hand . . . even bigger than simply what interests me . . . and it is up to me to find a way to relate this to the viewer.

But I have some ideas. So this has been a good week, all in all. I am slightly confused as to what I am SUPPOSED to have done by the third week of class . . . but I suppose I am only to have done what I (the artist) should have done and no one else. So in that sense, I feel like I have accomplished something. I am beginning to understand my role more and more and that I do not have to follow a set plan just like everyone else. Embrace this freedom and learn more about what it means to be "the artist".

A summary of this week:
1/2 hour on Tuesday [thinking and journaling]
4 hours on Saturday [working on the second assignment, researching, finding more pictures of Bhutan, looking at other artists' work on the Internet, and blogging]
2 hours Sunday afternoon [journaling, brainstorming, and discussing my concepts with David]
2 hours Sunday evening [working on the last 2 methods of mark-making, sorting through images, and sketching]
Total: 8 and 1/2 hours

site

Inspiration is always right around the corner.

Here is a site that David showed me last summer and I am in total admiration for.
http://gubia.neurasthenic.net

I looked at the work by Maureen Gubia today and saw something in her pieces that truly came to life and reminded me of what I have in my own head for my own pieces this semester. I plan on rendering the images on a high technical level, but I am also convinced that using color in a free and creative way will add so much to the drawings. So there you go. I guess frustrations eventually give way to motivation.

inexpressible

A little frustrated with art today. Not really wanting to find 10 unique ways to make it. Just give me a brush and some oils and I think I will let my feelings out in a thick application of paint. Bleed into abstraction. I do not care about making art logical right now. Who cares how the marks are made anyway. I just want to make it in a fury and fit of passion. I want to express.