time log 14: 26 hours

Energy drinks and fifteen minute naps (that strangely turn into 3 hours).

This has definitely been a tough week for me, and another is fast approaching. But it is okay. If I can be this optimistic at 4:30 in the morning, then I will undoubtedly survive the gauntlet.

Drawing consumes me, but I truly cannot complain. Even though I am rendering in such a tight, refined, and intricate manner, I find something new and exciting about this process every time I am so deeply involved with it. I sit in my chair for hours on end and stare at the paper, my head only inches away from the work in front of me. And I think. And think. And think. And think. Like every single microscopic grain that makes up the sheet of paper, I think.

Ideas shoot through my mind, and I envision works of art waiting to be made into little imperfect realities. One thought I encountered while I worked today dealt with my technique and process. I realized that this could very soon become boring for me, and I wondered how I could use my ability to render in a different, more innovative way. And I definitely have some ideas. But what also struck me was the thought that maybe I am not quite ready for that yet. My process is still compelling and fulfilling. There is so much yet to learn. And I also made a discovery. I do believe that I can render very very very well. This should be astonishing for anyone who knows me because I am typically not one to say this. Confidence has always been an issue for me, especially in regards to making artwork. But intertwined with my thoughts today, I realized that I am becoming more and more confident as an artist.

I am looking forward to finishing up and the final critique...